HAY! I'm Shanna.

A life + biz coach, podcast host, and community founder based in the NYC area. I love connecting with kick-ass women and sharing my really real story. Learn more about me!

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The Self Soul Sport Podcast is a destination to talk about loving self, nurturing soul, and living sport. I keep it really real with my coffee chats and interviews with girlbosses. This is a podcast that you want to miss, boo! Check out more about it and tune in! 

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3 Things No One Tells You About Being a Single AF Girlboss

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with being single. Since I was in high school, I fell under the trap of feeling like I needed a partner. I got questions like “Do you have a boyfriend?” and “When are you going to bring a boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner?”

Now as a twenty-something girlboss, I don’t feel pressure anymore. I feel empowered and happy to say that I’m single AF and girlbossing it in NYC. How did that happen? I’ve dated, I’ve cried, I’ve swiped right, all of it. And I’ve realized there are three key things that people just don’t tell you about being a single AF girlboss.

Today, I want to share these with you, especially if you’re a single AF girlboss. You’re not alone, boo. I’m right here with you! Alright, let’s get into these three things. 

You don’t have to settle for someone who isn’t ready for all your girlbossing. You don’t have to settle at any point in your girlboss journey. You don’t have to settle for compensation you don’t think is enough. You don’t have to settle for treatment you don’t deem is acceptable. And guess what?! You don’t have to settle for a partner who isn’t ready for all that you bring to the table!

I used to think I needed to settle in this journey. I dated many men that I knew weren’t ready for my lifestyle. I’m a nurturing yet busy AF woman who loves to still cuddle yet needs space on my lap to do some work. I’m sure of my future and vision for my life, as well as where I want my career to go. I’ve laid out a five year plan that does include a partner but doesn’t include a partner who cannot handle all I do.

I’ve now made it a non-negotiable in my life and in my one-word intention of alignment to make sure that I align with a partner who understand my life as a girlboss. I need a partner who understands that I may need to hop out my laptop in an emergency or have him as a photographer for some random project (though I have my own photographer, thank you very much!). My partner would need to be comfortable in himself to not be dependent on an independent woman.

Girlbosses, we’re going to tempted to settle. But we know those girl bosses who found the amazing men who loves on them. There’s so many girl bosses we can look at including Hannah Bronfman and even Sophia Amoruso her damn self. We don’t have to settle for a partner who isn’t ready for us!

You can empower yourself in the dating scene by knowing that you are the prize. You are a beautiful, talented, and fierce ass girlboss. You’re a damn prize to be won and anyone who doesn’t know it can kick all the rocks! Knowing your worth will help you so much in the game. There ain’t nobody like you, girlboss!

I remember feeling shy about being a girlboss. I downplayed what I do on dates out of fear that I would emasculate a potential partner. However, I started to notice more issues when I wasn’t upfront about my lifestyle from the jump. There would be snide remarks about my Instagram, demeaning jokes about my yoga journey, and passive aggressive comments about my being busy with events. Today, I’ve learned to share that I’m a girlboss because quite frankly, I’ve realized I’m a prize.

Now when I go out on any date, I make it a point to share that I’m a girlboss. I have my own LLC, an Instagram business, a coaching practice, and multiple streams of income. I notice if there’s a shift in the seat or a scratch of the head, then I know that’s not the fit. But the ones who are hopefuls, I notice they smile brightly and listen intently because they know yah gurl is a prize. I have skills, strengths, and qualities that make me a woman who takes charge and knows what I want!

Us ladies who identify as a girlboss gotta own our worth. We’re the prize for a partner. We have the swag to negotiate, the knowledge to start, and the discipline to execute. Not to mention, we can get things done not only in the email but in the bedroom.

You’re just as complete and badass without a partner, as you would be with one. You don’t need a partner to be complete. You’re living in a world now you can make your coins and swipe right on potential suitors. You’re pretty damn badass right now! You’re already a whole, badass by yourself, girlboss!

I had this idea in high school that I would be married with kids by this time. That would make my life complete. As I’ve grown older and become the girlboss that I am, I’ve realized that’s B.S. Though being married and having kids is a goal, I’m not any less complete as a person because I don’t have those things. If anything, I’m completing myself before a partner.

The words I like to tell myself like “You’re a KWEEN” and “You’re beautiful inside and out” are so helpful in affirming to me that I’m just as complete without a partner. I realize how much I have to offer because I’m complete just the way I am!

We are all complete without a partner, especially us girlbosses. We have so much to offer and so much to give. When we own that, we’ll be even less tempted to settle and more excited in our worth. We’re our own badass, girlboss selves and we have so much to offer in this dating game. Our future partner will know that we’re complete, and they’ll want in on all that!

How are you feeling about being a single AF girlboss? What’s your journey like? I’d love to hear from you below, boo! I’m at that point of my life of beginning to love it! But I will say, I still have that desire for a partner. However, yah girl is doing good being a cutie, single, and girlboss in NYC until I find the partner that I don’t settle for!

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  1. Beth

    January 6th, 2019 at 11:39 PM

    Absolutely ❤️ this. So so true. My goal for this year is to invest in myself too!

  2. Shanna Tyler

    January 12th, 2019 at 11:35 PM

    Yas! So happy to hear it 🙂 Investing on ourselves is the best! And happy 2019, Beth!

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